Vector Prime Blinky the Fallen A Question Archives
June 22nd, 2007
Since several people have asked what I think of the picture released for the Transformers: Animated concept, I will address this here instead of answering everyone individually:
The one picture that has been released is ugly.
Which is sufficient to send the fandom pouring ashes on itself and beating its collective chest and declaring the end of the world. It's adorable. I can hardly wait for Unicron to arrive so they will be faced with the true and literal end of the world, since they've had so much practice. It should be quite a show.
I, being the living avatar of evolution, like the new art style, though it does not appeal to my visual preferences. Things that don't change, die. If one mutation doesn't work, then perhaps the next mutation will be more fit. But then, I, as demigod and Transformer, perceive the universe in geologic time. Humans are doing well if they can see beyond the next meal.
Each line has had its own aesthetic. If you dislike the aesthetic of a line, wait a year. It will change again.
This nonsense also serves as yet another reminder of how entitled the older collectors feel. Already, they have forgotten the Reissues, Alternators, Titaniums, Beast Wars 10th ( if it even counts, being non-G1, ) and Classics. As soon as Hasbro tries to focus on its primary demographic and appeal to a younger audience, the collectors raise hue and cry and forget all the times that Hasbro appealled specifically to them.
Ah, but these lines had no cartoons. The output of IDW isn't enough. Hasbro seems to be trapped in the belief that the primary viewers of cartoons are children, not adults. They also seem trapped in the belief that their primary demographic, as a toy company, is children.
The fandom often forgets that the fiction they preach from is a cartoon, directed at children. Perhaps the sin of Transformers: Animated is that it appeals to the wrong children. It was written for an audience born in the new millennium, not for the ones that birthed them.
Q: Blinky: How does one hug that walking Barbeque?
What keeps Firetruck bots like Hotspot from answering the call of their alts when he’s around?
Or, for that matter, setting off Fire Sprinklers?
And wouldn’t his antics be best solved by rigging a teleport into a full bathtub?
(Admit it Fallen, you have no real power, it; all smoke and a mirror.)
A: 1) With your arms, silly!
2-4) Water doesn't work. His fire is magical. That's also why he doesn't leave charred footy-prints all over.
Only one mirror?
Q: Dear, uh, Robot(s)-Currently-Answering-Questions-At-Locust-Porn-Website,
I was finally able to get my hands on DVDs for Season 1 and the first half of Season 2, and it was undoubtedly worth it, though everyone at the office did give me strange looks when I enthused and waxed poetic about my great find (no, it isn't easy finding Transformers stuff in Pakistan).
While I was watching Season 2, however, something kept bugging me: just how big is Skyfire in jet mode? In "Attack of the Autobots", he's big enough that Optimus Prime could drive up into his cargo hold (yes, I've tried to phrase that differently; no, it didn't sound better the other way around), but in "A Plague of Insecticons", he's small enough to be kicked out of the sky by Kickback. And in "Day of the Machines", he's so immense that Spike and Hound can sit comfortably in his cockpit.
I mean, face it, if Skyfire didn't shunt his extra mass into subspace while transforming to robot-mode, wouldn't he be as big as a gestalt?
Hope life isn't gettin' y'all down.
You are asking scale questions of G1. Foolish enough to ask scale questions of any Transformers series, but the original cartoon was the most consistant in their inconsistancies. Skyfire is exactly as large as he needs to be at any given moment.
Q: Dear Fallen,
What are you’re thoughts on the film featuring the Silver Surfer? I ask since he’s basically got the same job you, herald of a great planet devourer. Do you plan to watch it and take notes or throw popcorn at him? I would ask who you think would win in a contest between Unicron and Galactus, but I’m guessing you’d say Uni.
Till all are one.
A: I have not yet watched this movie, though it intrigues me because I have an interest in variations of the Galactus mythos.
Of course Unicron would win. Unicron always wins.
Unless confronted with a miniature disco ball.
How I loathe Primes.
Q: Dear Vector Prime,
How come, for the past few years, G1 fans have hated new Transformers shows? And how come some hate us even though they haven't seen the movie yet?
Optimus Prime, movie
A: Neither of us are Vector Prime. For that, I will hate you on principle.
Ignore the cranky guy. Not all G1 fans hate the new stuff, it's just that haters are noisy. Maybe they don't like the animation or they thought that Minicons were a bad idea or they were hoping for shows that were geared towards an older audience. Or they don't like it because it's not G1. They don't have to have logical reasons for a question of taste.
However, they had at least seen a few episodes of the shows in question. Hating something they haven't seen is more about pessimism - it can't live up to their expectations.
Q: Dear ancient fool known as The Fallen:
You should be scared by the threat Commander Taiga Kohtarou of the Gutsy
Galaxy Guard gave you. You see, Earth-716 is the dimension where the
anime "Gaogaigar" takes place the titular giant robot can combine with
another, smaller robo named Goldymarg. Goldymarg transforms into a new
right hand for Gaogaigar, one specifically designed to use the weapon
Goldion Hammer, a giant hammer that contains an artificial gravity well
that causes a custom shockwave when the hammer is used. In short: The
artificial gravity well at its center causes anything hit by the Goldion
Hammer to be reduced to /photons/. Scared yet?
A: That would be 'no'. Listen carefully, you knock-off ...
( Blinky nips the Fallen on the ankle. )
This is just going to keep degenerating into a "my favourite can beat up your favourite", isn't it?
Q: Why is Thunderblast nicer to Lugnut than she is to others?
A: Because she is. Maybe she likes his poetry.
Q: Does Mudflap have any respect for Thundercracker since Thundercracker beat him in a fair fight?
A: Maybe. Mudflap is stupid like that.
Q: I have an idea for a Transformers series but I don’t know how to contact Hasbro. Do you think you could give me their email? I promise not to bother them.
A: Every Transfan that ever lived has an idea for a Transformers series. Perhaps you might start here.
Q: How old is Thunderblast?
A: If she was indeed the basis for the Lorelei myth, she had been lurking the Rhine at least a few thousand years ago.
Q: What was G1 Starscream’s CORRECT tech spec stats?
Q: Did the G1 Predacons succeed in taking over Cybertron after Beast Machines?
A: Probably in some universe.
Q: Can G1 Cyclonus beat G1 Galvatron in a fight if they ever fought?
A: Not without cheating. More importantly, he has no interest in defeating Galvatron.
Q: How did the G1 Predacons avoid Megatron in Beast Machines?
A: They didn't. They were stuck the big jar of sparks like everyone else who had been on Cybertron at the time. Unless they were on another planet. What do those Predacons have to do with Beast Machines, anyway?
Q: Can Ransack beat Override in a race if he didn’t cheat?
A: No. Leadership of the Speed Planet is determined by racing, ergo whoever is the leader must be the fastest.
Q: Can the G1 Predacons still form Predaking after Beast Machines?
A: It depends on if they were on Cybertron and reformatted and if combiner technlogy still existed after the reformat.
Q: How did G1 Starscream’s spark mutate in the first place?
A: In all honesty, I'm uncertain. In any other species, the answer would be that it was simply a natural mutation, but Transformers are incapable of such. Perhaps he encountered a Minicon.
Q: Will there ever be more female decepticons again?
A: Most likely.
Q: I had this question answered by The Fallen but I don’t think he told the truth. If the other transformers know what Thunderblast did before she was frozen why do they let her continue to be free? Wouldn’t they want to freeze her again or something like that?
A: Guess what, human - I told the truth the first time. I want to be doing anything but answering an answer column with a hug-happy pillbug, but I can't seem to do anything about it. You may as well ask why the Autobots didn't just lock up all the Decepticons, or just sit on them - they outnumbered the Decepticons ten million to one by the end and still struggled against them! Just because one wants to do something does not always mean that they can.
Also, I'm pretty sure the Ice Cave was destroyed when the Monster Decepticons escaped. But if you're not going to bother looking that up, neither am I. It'd be in episode 23 or 24, thereabouts.
Q: Mighty Fallen! Uh… and Blinky!
1.) Does Vector Prime know that his not-so-favourite relative took over his column? Will there be hilarious and/or violent shenanigans when he finds out?
2.) What happened to Wheeljack after Armada? Does he hang out at Shockwave’s tiki lounge, Cyclonus and Scourge’s spa or did he open a business of his own?
A: 1) He knows. Or if he doesn't, he will find out in two weeks.
2) Wrong universe, though a similar concept exists. Wheeljack was the one who opened the Tiki Lounge in the Armada universe. Hoist tends the bar.
Q: Who is better, Richard Newman or Sho Hayami?
A: Blinky will answer questions! Both are equally squee.
Q: Why is Blinky called 'Blinky'?
If Starscream had a harem, who would he put in it?
A: Blinky is called Blinky because that is my name.
Which Starscream? The local one seems happy with just Skyfire.
Vector Prime will return after BotCon. He is welcome to you all. However, he will not answer questions about the 2007 Transformers movie until, say, September. He has this thing about spoilers.
I, however, do not.
Snape kills Dumbledore.