Ask Vector Prime A Question Archives
  August 17th, 2007  

Vector Prime and Safeguard

No time to talk, as there are a lot of questions this week.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Throughout my searches for good Transformer fan fiction, I have stumbled across some rather graphic "adult themed" Transformers stories. After reading a few and giggling incessantly at them I have to ask these questions:
1.)Why do people pervert something as great as Transformers? Especially if said Transformers are androgynous giant robots with no organic or even quasi-organic functions to them?
2.)Have you ever stumbled upon such writings? And if so what is your opinion of the stories and the people who write them?
3.)What is the official answer to how new Transformers are made? As I have found numerous answers claiming to be absolutely true, straight from Furman himself. and finally one for Safeguard!
I've found some rather illicit stories of you and another minicon. Do you deny any involvement in such scandalous affairs or is that how you really use your exhaust port?

A: 1) Because humans are fascinated by themselves and their reproductive systems.

2) Yes, often on purpose. I suppose it's only fair. Transformers write fanfiction about humans where the humans sparkbond and bring body shells to Earth's Cyber Planet Key to prove their love.

3) Building, budding, protoform, and demerging. Building can be by factory or by an engineer or a team of engineers and can be unique or a set mould such as a Decepticon Seeker. A spark is then given by Vector Sigma, the Autobot Creation Matrix, or by magic, such as what happened with the Dinobots. Budding is the method used by the G2 Cybertronians, and is basically parthenogenesis. However, doing it too often or over too many generations weakens both creator and offspring and can have nasty side effects. Protoform involves a liquid medium of nanites and a spark in a stasis pod, which will then scan the area and pick something for the protoform to become. Demerging is being budded right off the surface of Cybertron by Primus. This only happened thirteen times.

Safeguard says: Eep whee beep? Eedle bee whee!

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
I visit In Space nearly every day and have never written in, so I thought I would. I'm a Cybertron Starscream model, and as a Transformer I would like to feel big and strong, because that's what Cybertron Starscream should be like. But here where I live, I am sometimes called "Itty Bitty Starscream". How am I supposed to feel big and tall when I am only 8.5cm high? (That's 3.3 inches). It doesn't help that I live with a larger Starscream (Classics Deluxe), and then there's Giant Cybertron Starscream, I don't even come up to his knee! I feel so tiny standing next to him. Even the Zoids are bigger than me, and they're robotic animals! It's not fair.
So my question is, how can I feel tall when I'm surrounding by robots that are so much larger than me? How can I stop the Zoids and others referring to me as Itty Bitty Starscream? They don't call Jetfire "Itty Bitty Jetfire", and he's about the same height as me. It's probably because he's the only Jetfire (he's the only non-Starscream Transformer too). I don't like being small. Next someone'll strap me to Giant Starscream's arm, I just know it!
A related question, how tall is the average Minicon? Am I really as small as a Minicon?
Thanks for your time,
Tiny Cybertron Starscream

A: Ah, so you would be from the Legends line, then. You're about twice the height of a Minicon. Our local World's Smallest Starscream is generally known as 'Bitty Screamer', so take comfort in the fact that it could be worse. The shorter people around here tend to find someone large to hang out with and sit on his shoulder for the illusion of height.

Q: Dearest Old Auto Bum.
This here's Thunder Cracker fromís downtown G1. Beings the old mook youís are, youís might recognize me better as der blue StarScream, whenís clearly Star Scream is der red whiney, geeky, scrawny versionís of me, that bum was always tryin' ta steal myís look.
Anyways, I am most disappointed ter find in der Insecticomic where's I'z was talkin ter der little human broad, that some how's, I've lost my beautiful Brooklyn accent. Please have's it returned as soon as possible, cha pesh?
However's I've's got ter ask yer a few questions.
Number one's: How come the girlies is always going for's that geekly StarScream Bum? He's clearly a momma's boy who ainít done nothin's forís no one's
Number's two: How come's when ever the broads pay attention ter me, it cuz I mean ter be nice. Stop's ter not step on a human once and suddenly my tough guy's reputation is ruined. What they's really shouldís be's focusin' on is my's very muscular body frame, if you's be kind enough ter ignore that fact us big robots don't has muscles.
Number's Three: Has Megatron had der chance ter has himselfís a lookís at that Pepsi Prime that's always hangin's around? That Pepsi Prime might's be a screwball's but Megatron really hates them Primes, See?
And Finally's: What's up with's that dere bum cybertron Thunder Cracker's voice box? Southern? Get's outta town! It's an insult ter me and my Brooklyn accent.
Well's Iíz be seeinís yer around.
-Thunder Cracker (G1)
Ps: Please Punch StarScream rightís in der Kisser. It wouldís make me so happy.

A: 1) Ask ten Starscream fangirls why they like him and you'll get ten different answers.

2) Because a Decepticon who doesn't go out of his way to torture the natives is obviously a big softy who wants to who wants to settle down with your OC/you with a little house in the suburbs and 2.4 kids. See also: Armada Starscream.

3) The epic battle was cut short due to Megatron laughing so hard that he ruptured something.

4) Yes, yes, Cybertron Thundercracker sounds Southern, how dare they, et cetera. The bandwagon left a year ago. I don't recall your accent being nearly this thick. I don't recall Rattrap's accent being this thick!

Q: Which Starscream was stronger, the one powered up by the Omega Lock or the one powered up by the Underbase?
A: In terms of deaths caused, that would be the Underbase. In terms of what artefact is more powerful, that would be the Omega Lock.

Q: Do Ransack and Override have ANY respect for each other?
A: This question sounds extremely familiar. Possibly they respect each other's speed.

Q: What would Hot Shot and Override think if Ransack won a race that made him leader of Speed Planet?
A: They'd just challenge him again and hope to win. That's how they do it on Velocitron.

Q: What do you think of Prowlís death in the first transformers movie?
A: Didn't I mention this just last week? It was the most frightening death in the movie. Optimus' took longest, Starscream crumbled to dust, but Prowl burst smoke from his orifices.

Q: Sorry to of confused you. But my question was, Who were the 3 most famous Decepticons and the 3 most famous Autobots from G1 to where we are now? Like Optimus Prime was one of the 3 most famous Autobots, so who were the other two? And with Starscream and Megatron they were 2 of the most famous Decepticons, so who was the last one? Try reading the question a little better next time. See ya later grandpa bot.
A: I must have been just so surprised that you weren't asking if A was stronger than B or if C respects D question for once. Possibly your question was worded poorly. Either/or. And it's still not a difficult question.

Autobots: Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Grimlock.

Decepticons: Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave.

Q: What did Scourge and Override think of Coby getting married to Lori?
A: They sent their congratulations, though neither could come to the wedding itself.

Q: Do Lori and Thunderblast hate each other because they remind each other of themselves? Their both good lookin and they both get slightly homicidal whenever someone tells them something they donít like (like this question for example), and they can both push Scourge around as much as they want. Just wondering since I noticed these similarities.
A: Possibly. It could just be that Thunderblast immediately started picking on Lori and Lori couldn't exactly like Thunderblast for that. Though I might guess that Thunderblast ended up focused on Lori because she feels threatened by other females - they might take attention away from her.

Q: What did Starscream, Megatron, and Prowl do after the first transformers movie? I know that Shockwave opened a day spa after the movie. Did they do something like that?
A: Only the characters who simply vanished with no explanation ended up in Tahihti with Shockwave. The ones that died went to go shout at their agents.

Q: When the Fallen was answering questions did he answer them truthfully?
A: Generally.

Q: Does Override have any respect for Crumplezone since he beat the tar out of her in the episode Darkness?
A: Have you realised that you have a very skewed idea of respect? I've been beaten in fights by Starscream, for instance. Starscream is a delusional, megomaniacal, back-stabbing bastard. Why should I respect that? However, I respect Optimus Prime, despite the fact that he's never so much as taken a swing at me.

Q: Are Ransack and Crumplezone two of the best racers on Speed Planet? I remember them being the only other participants in the finals of the race that Hot Shot won the Planet key.
A: Presumeably they are, otherwise they'd be no threat and thus no place in the Cybertron story.

Q: Dear Vector Prime.
Last column raised a question for me. How did Hot Shot beat Override in their last race? When he upgraded to his Cybertron Defense Form he lost his Cyber Key boosters and added several tons of armor and weaponry to his frame. Considering that at their skill level a tiny fraction of a seconds accelleration or even a couple mph difference can be a huge factor. Now I don't want to accuse anyone of anything but with Overrides stated intent to explore the galaxy (which would be rather difficult with a planet to run) one might think she was giving less than 100%. I wouldn't mind hearing Hot Shot's and Overide's responses either.
Thanks

A: Override never actually raced Hot Shot in the last episode. She had already decided that she was going to leave to explore the galaxy, so she stood back and opened up the race to all comers instead of participating and throwing it.

Q: What do you REALLY think of Bud?
A: It is an inferior American beer.

Q: Is Starscream a better fighter than Landmine? Iím asking since in the first episode of Cybertron, Retreat, and Escape Starscream beat the living tar out of Landmine. In Retreat and Escape Landmine was on guard when Starscream beat him. The ONLY time Landmine got Starscream he caught Starscream OFF guard.
A: You do realise that you answered your own question, right?

Q: Which Transformers series do you think was the worst? And which series do you think is the best?
A: They've all had their good points and bad points. There's none that I think should be wiped from continuity nor is there one I hold above the others.

Oh, all right. Maybe the colouring books.

Q: If Red Alert botched up on repairing you would you punish him by making him teach Advance Physics to Crumplezone?
A: Red Alert? Doing repairs? That is what Coby is for.

Q: If Override can hold her own against Scourge does that mean that Crumplezone can do the same since he beat her up in the episode Darkness? You know if Crumplezone was smart enough.
A: You know what? From now on I'm just going to ignore every question from you that involves wondering if A could beat/is stronger than B or if C respects D. It will cut the number of questions I get every week in half.

Q: If Megatron and Starscream got out of the energon sun how come Tidal Wave or Mirage or who ever he was at the time didnít get out as well?
A: Mirage. Mirage was neither a) merged with Unicron, nor b) something like a ghost. Mirage was mortal, and thus died.

Q: I have 5 questions
1 I know that Skywarp and Thundercracker donít like Starscream in G1 but did they like each other?
2 Did Thundercracker and Skywarp like Starscream in Armada?
3 Does Soundwave love his cassettes like a family and vice versa?
4 What do Soundwave and Rumble think of their parody in the first episode of the 3rd season of Robot Chicken?
5 What happened to Lugnutz after Cybertron?

A: 1) They seemed to appear together.

2) The Dreamwave MTMTE doesn't say. Skywarp, being Starscream's cousin, sometimes worries that he got his position out of neopotism, but it doesn't say whether he likes or dislikes Starscream. Thundercracker seems to dislike his fellow Decepticons as a whole, which would include Starscream.

3) The only one he ever seemed to show any affection for was Ravage.

4) They're too busy being amazed that Rumble is his right-ninety-percent-of-the-time colour to have a comment. Nice to hear Welker again, though.

5) He went and opened a coffee shop in New York.

Q: Is Waspinator unkillable?
A: As far as anyone knows, he hasn't died yet.

Q: Is G1 Starscream a great fighter? Iím asking since I remember him killing Brawn and Ratchet with no problem and in the battle on earth he only took damage when he shot himself in the foot so he could save himself AND he won that battle royal inside Astrotrain to become the leader of the Decepticons.
A: Have you quite got the idea of an answer column? You're supposed to write in questions that you don't know the answers to. You are not supposed to write the equivalent of, "Two plus two equals four. Does two plus two equal four?" "Starscream wins many fights that he's in. Is Starscream a good fighter? I need validation."

Q: Dear Vector Prime;
I've recently finished watching Transformers Armada and i'm hopeing you'll be able to answer a few questions of mine.
1) It seems to me that the Armada Transformers are larger than their G1 Counteparts and yet Armada Unicron is much smaller than the G1 Version, any idea why? Did he shrink in the wash or something?
2) After being tentecle raped i mean...Held captive by Unicrons creepy appandages Optimus get's a color change were most of his white parts are now black. Is there a reason behind that or was it simply a coloring error that the artists decided to go with?
3) Last and Least. Why does Armada Starscream have so many fangirls? I always found G1 Screamer to have a more interesting character, that and he's much cuter.
P.S please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes. I've proof read this a few times before sending but mistakes always seem to fall through the cracks.

A: And I appreciate the effort. 1) Armada Unicron disguised himself as a moon, not a planet, thus would be smaller.

2) That would be a deliberate colour change to sell more repaints.

3) Because Armada Starscream is more approachable. G1 Starscream is an unrepentant bastard who would step on you as soon as look at you. Armada Starscream doesn't know what he wants and doesn't step on humans, so obviously he's just a big softy who wants to settle down with Alexis/your OC/you with a little house in the suburbs and 2.4 kids. See also: G1 Thundercracker.

Q: Was the Liege Maximo loyal to Primus?
A: Given that he's no longer living on Cybertron and attacked in Alignment, signs are pointing to 'no'. No, this does not mean he's aligned with Unicron.

 

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