Ask Vector Prime A Question Archives
  February 2nd, 2007 

Vector Prime

The possibility is in the wind that Energon Arcee will be repainted for the Movie line of toys. I can think of at least two fangirls who will be overjoyed if it comes to pass. More importantly, they are hinting at a Deluxe Arcee. I am all for more women with wheels.

Q: Vector Prime, I got a question.
For a while now, this has been buggin' me to no end. I read the Insecticomics and see it constantly, and I gotta ask.
You travel through time and space all the time. I never met Slog, since every time either of us pop up in fiction, we're never in the same time period. So...
Is Slog, like, RELATED to me or something? I mean, we both have these vague monster modes, we're both part of under-rated gestalts...I mean, did I have a son, or a long lost brother, or does that mean I just got REALLY dumpy in my old age?
I'd ask more, but I gotta talk Hun-Grrr outta his funk again. He keeps over-energizing and spouting curses at "Devil Gigatron" for "stealing his thing". Whatever that means.
Blot (of the Terrorcons)

A: I hope he isn't related to you. Wayward threatened to slash the two of you once as a protest of portmaneau. Your 'ship was to be named 'Blog'.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
I bring terrible news. The Planet of Open-Minded Supermodels has been Destroyed by Darth Vader while he testing out his new Death Star form. We are all very sorry.
Emperor Palpatine.
P.S. If it makes you feel any better, we had his brain removed and transferred into a Care Bear body.

A: Nonsense. The Planet of Open-Minded Supermodels is eternal. I know this, because television sitcoms are still being created, and everyone who writes cookie-cutter sitcoms knows that 'loser that no real woman would date even on a dare' plus 'super-hot wife' equals hilarity.

Q: Dear VP,
So if I do get a date in some universes, who do I get and is she (or he; at this point, I'm not too picky) hot?

A: Probably. Since everything happens somewhere, there are likely dark and timelost dimensions where you are married to a supermodel. Possibly also starring in your own sitcom.

Q: Most Honorable Vector Prime:
Your time portal-forming sword has been looking rather dull lately. I would be happy to polish and sharpen it for you free of charge, if you'd care to send it a few million years back and let me borrow it for the weekend. Would you mind?
-Beast Wars Megatron

A: I can polish my own sword, thank you.

... Stop laughing and delete that last sentence, Shrapnel.

Q: Old Shiny Dude,
Is there any way to make Mirage stop mooning over Megatron? At this point, we think he might do something stupid like fly into the sun after him or, even worse, write bad poetry and leave it under his door. It's getting very annoying and we want it to stop before he gets his idiot self killed and leaves us with no one to ride around on.
P.S. Snowcat recommends a threesome to "cure" Mirage. How do I show him this is a bad idea?

A: I think the only way to distract Mirage is with a mech larger and more powerful than Megatron. I have various brothers who aren't doing anything, but most of them are bad news.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Concerning Insecticomics #213...
I am unsure what should horrify me more; the fact that Kickback gets his jollies from that kind of stuff, or the fact he was able to download two gigabytes of it from the internet...

A: Kickback gets his jollies scaring people. The collection works as an anti-hacker device - Sideways, for instance, will never risk infecting the Insecticons' computer again.

Or maybe Kickback's just strange.

Q: So-called "Firstforged",
How valid is the sentience of the produc- I mean, the cybertronnian species? Since time immemorial, autobots have been the foolishly peaceful half, while the decepticons have been the stupidly aggressive half of the species. It has been this way since the fluke known as thier sentience took hold, and even before that they held true to those traits. Since then, it has always been that way with the two, which makes me question if the cybertronnian species is truly sentient, as I have not seen any wide range of personality deviations in either of these molds. At thier essence, autobots are peaceful, and decepticons aggressive. I see no variation in this trend whatsoever. So do enlighten me, "Vector Prime". IS cybertronnian sentience true, or is it just a case of mindless organic mimicry via advanced machinery?
- Quintesson Scientist

A: Are Quintesson spellchecks true? Because I'm not seeing it.

Your definitions are so wide as to be useless. "Autobots tend to be peaceful. Decepticons tend to be aggressive. I'll ignore anyone who doesn't fall into those categories so that my theory holds up." You might as well say, "Men tend to like dogs. Women tend to like cats. I'll ignore any men who like cats and any women who like dogs so that my theory holds up." And it doesn't even have anything to do with your idea that Transformers on non-sentient. Sentience is about self-awareness, not diversity of thought in a population. We are aware of ourselves as selves. We are sentient.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
You mention a few times that Straxus horrifies the insecticons... why is that, exactly?

A: Marvel comics. Shrapnel, Kickback, and Bombshell were part of Straxus' elite crew. They seemed to be the top three of the Ten Deadliest Killers, as Shrapnel appeared to be Straxus' second in command. He was the one who tended to report to Straxus and receive the most backhandings. The Insecticons just don't want to get pulled back under the command of their old boss again.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
If HasTak ever put you in charge of making the next Transformers cartoon, what would it be like? What direction would you take it?

A: The first thing I would do is increase the number of female characters. It may just be because I know a lot of female Transformers fans, it may be because most fanfiction writers can't write a real woman to save their lives, but the Transformers Mythos needs more female characters with fully-developed personalities and more function than just being someone's girlfriend.

And then I would put all the action on a planet made entirely of beaches.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
I've actually gotten a figure. True it's part of the MP Starscream figure, but non the less I actually have a toy... are you as shocked as I am by this development?
-Dr. Arkeville

A: If you bought it to stick hot pins into, I'm not surprised at all.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
If the Transformers: Forever characters had voices, what would they sound like? I was thinking that Megatron (Forever) would sound like Seven of Nine, only eviler.

A: Wayward never finished making a voice actor list for the series. The only notes I can find on it say that Shrapnel sounds like Gollum doing a Starscream impression. I could see Megatron sounding like a better-educated Override.

However, Memory from Wayward's G1 series sounds like Seven of Nine.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Being as you are at least partly responsible for the situation I find myself in, thanks to your advice to Ultra Magnus last week, I turn to you for advice.
How do I get this @&$#% Blinky off my face!?
Rodimus Prime

A: Blinkys hug. They do not @&$#%. Your best bet is to walk by someone grumpier than you. Blinky will attach himself to his new victim in hopes of cheering him up.

Or you could lick him. I'm just not sure if the scream and the look on his face will be worth the therapy he'll demand.


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