Ask Vector Prime A Question Archives
  May 12th, 2006  

Vector Prime

I don't even need to consult my magic eight-ball to know that the official site hasn't updated. Come on, the series isn't even over yet.

Q: Watching the Cybertron episodes, questions on three subjects come instantly to mind:
1. Why does everyone have either a British or Southern United States accent? Whatever happened to just using a Midwestern United States accent like news anchors? It seems odd that over half the Transformers in the series are British, yet Hasbro tends to all but ignore the entire European continent.
2. Why does everyone need to announce their attack? Like when Starscream shouts "NULL CANNON!" If these are robots who process information in microseconds or faster, wouldn't announcing your attack of choice be an ultimately detrimental move, since the enemy could easily hear the announcement and process a counter-attack almost instantaneously? Also, why doesn't this happen?
3. Why don't you just use your sword on Megatron and save everyone the trouble? Here, I'm postulating that if you cut a Decepticon in half with your temporal sword, it would effectively cause one half of the robot to go to one location in time and the other half to go to another location in time, never to be reunited, sort of like what Death's Head II did to one of his antagonists. It would definitely save a lot of time and hassle fighting them, and you'd definitely get the respect you deserve as Guardian of Space and Time. Just a thought.
I may have more questions later, the further I get into the series.

A: Really? I tend to think of rather different things when I watch the show:
1) Why is the only person who can repair our technology a half-grown alien?
2) Override is seriously hot.
3) Override needs more airtime. Now.

But, to your questions. 1) Jetfire is Australian and Backstop is Jamacian, offhand. But, true. Hasbro has traditionally been less than stellar in getting product to European Transfans. Either you need to wait forever for new product, get fleeced on eBay, pay high shipping charges from online toy stores, or get an American friend who'll do your shopping for you. The one thing I can think that you got across the pond that we didn't were the Robots In Disguise DVDs.

2) Forget counter-attacks - I just want to see someone step out of the way. Presumeably the shouting is for the same reason they all yell 'transform' to transform - they think it's more exciting that way.

3) If I was allowed to do that, the series would be over. Not that I would mind fifty episodes of getting foot-rubs by supermodels with wheels, but the cartoon people thought that wouldn't sell enough toys.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
What is it with people setting me up with Starscream? We're not compatible, he's a Decepticon who's older than my entire species, and I've got better things to do than moon over a jet I've known less than a year. You know, things like becoming president.
Sincerely, Alexis.
P.S.: Is there any way to fix the crack in my necklace so people will stop using it as a plot device?

A: You mean the necklace you made yourself from a bit of Mars rock that Starscream discarded because he was done looking at it? As well, the necklace that you claimed was good luck, when someone else might have considered going deeper into Unicron to rescue a bauble was just asking for bad luck? Ah, foolish as you were as a child, I cannot but feel sympathy for you.

Alexis, the sole reason that you are set up with Starscream is this: you are female. Others may argue that it's because you were friendly to him, but I tell you that if you loathed him or were indifferent to him, those too would be taken as signs of True Love. The writers of Armada didn't realise that they were giving in to the fantasies of fangirls everywhere - the pretty Decepticon jet becomes an Autobot and becomes guardedly friendly to a human girl. To the eyes of fangirls, who believe that their Victim Of Choice would love them if only they knew them, this was all the excuse they needed to pump out reams of dreadful Armada fanfiction, using your name as a cover for their own desires, and claiming canon.

These writers never watched Energon, where you never think of Starscream at all, because you are a rather important government official and liason between the humans and the Transformers. Truth, in this case, is much more sensible and satisfying than fiction. Take heart.

As a side note, given the amount of 'Starscream as an Autobot' fanfiction out there, one might think that Starscream became an Autobot in the second episode and remained with them until he died. In fact, he was an Autobot for three episodes. He joined them solely because he thought he had a better chance to kill Megatron if he was an Autobot. He then left because he changed his mind and decided it would be easier to get at Megatron if he was a Decepticon. Alas, most Armada writers never watched the show and merely take their knowledge of the series by reading bad Armada fanfiction.

Summary: Armada good. Armada fanfiction bad. Alexis ends up an important government official rather than committing suicide to My Immortal, because she has a brain.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Hypothetically speaking, if the Maximals and Predacons that appeared in the Beast Wars cartoon had been built in G1 as Autobots and Decepticons, how would they fare in those respective factions?

A: Not too badly, I'd think. The Axalon crew were adaptable and capable of warfare even if it wasn't their primary function, so any of them should be able to fare as well as, say, Perceptor or Wheeljack. Unless they decided that science was more important, whereupon they'd end up vanishing in the middle of Season Two like Skyfire. The Predacons would just be another disobediant Decepticon unit plotting to overthrow Megatron, so they'd fit right in. Bludgeon would push Dinobot over and steal his lunch money.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
From what I've seen, most Decepticons are either treacherous, psychotic, murderous, power-hungry, with few to no redeeming traits. With that kind of mindset, how could these guys conquer a shopping mall, let alone an entire planet and beyond that even?

A: The important word here is 'conquer'. It's easy to conquer places if you're a treacherous, psychotic, murderous, power-hungry bastard with no redeeming traits, who also turns into a war-machine covered in guns. It's actually ruling the place afterwards that those traits might not be so handy, at least if you want anything more complex than a tyranny.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
What exactly does the Liege Line have over other lines? And who are these "Legascions" I've been hearing about?

A: To be honest, they have nothing over the other Lines, they've just got a superiority complex so they think they do. 'Legascion' is what Koi Lungfish calls them to avoid Gorilla Grodd Syndrome - it prefers the sound of, "This is the Legascion Liege Centuro," over, "This is the Liege Liege Centuro." Over here, we've adopted 'Legascion' for the Armada-Energon-Cybertron faction under the Liege Maximo's direct control, though not for the G1-G2 one, for reasons known only to a scatterbrained bee. Other names for this faction we've heard are 'Imperials' ( which is too Star Wars, ) 'G2 Decepticons' ( except then they get confused with Megatron and Bludgeon's groups, ) and 'greeny-grays' ( which is plain silly. ) In short, there's nothing good to call them.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
What is your opinion of the Quintessons?

A: I'm against them.

Q: To Vector Prime: Why does Leobreaker combine with Optimus Prime?
A: I'm going to answer this in multiple choice:
a) To increase the power of Optimus Prime so that he might defeat evil forever.
b) To sell toys.
c) When a truck and a lion love each other very much ...

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Can Transformers use magic?
Quintesson Imperial Magistrates

A: As far I've seen, they never have. Even the nastier mystics refer to their art as 'Dark Sciences'. Thus, I call Clarke's Law.

Q: Dear Vector Prime ...


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