Ask Vector Prime A Question Archives
  April 7th, 2006  

Vector Prime

They changed the menu bar from Fan Forum to Ask Vector Prime. You can ask him, but he doesn't answer. In fact, I think I'll ask him if Hasbro has plans to repaint Thunderblast ...

... Done. On to answering everything in my inbox.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
In the world of One Piece there such things called Devil Fruits. This kind of fruit, when eaten, gives the person that eats it great power. Now the beast types in Beast Machines are part organic, thus what I want to know is, can they use its powers? Can you please tell me?
BW Megatron

A: You, personally, could not use them, being an entirely robotic being. By the time Beast Machines comes around, it won't matter - only your enemies will be technorganic and you'll be trying to destroy all organic life on Cybertron anyway.

Q: Seriously, do you have any serious advice about a serious romantic interest, and feel free to ask any of the Insectcons what they think?
P.S. If you don't want to ask the Insecticons for fear of what they might say, then please find someone to ask.

A: It's hard to give advice when there are no details. A generic 'buy her flowers and candy' would not go over well if the object of your affections is on a diet and has hay fever. And I'm just assuming the 'female' part here. What do I know? Romantic relationships are as unique as the people that make them up. The only generic advice that I've found is always one hundred percent effective is this: never take an Insectichick to an all-you-can-eat buffet unless you have bail money.

Q: Vector Prime, Respond; Operation: Clarification,
1) How old am I and what did I turn into back on Cybertron? It seemed like some sort of ridiculously-obvious street lamp or telephone pole or something....
2) Where did Ratbat come from? He must have been the only new Decepticon we received last year until the intervention of Unicron ...
3) Why is the Decepticon symbol based on my face? For that matter, why is the Predacon symbol based on Waspinator's?
End Communication,
G1 Soundwave
P.S. If you were ever to visit the Eighth Circle of Crossover Hell ( named either Cania or Canada; Blaster keeps erasing my tapes in fits of passion ) would you hang out with Sailor Pluto? She is also a Guardian of Time, and is quite open-minded ( she hangs out with Uranus and Neptune, after all ) even if she's more in Safeguard's size category ...
P.P.S. I apologize for the unusual nature of my postscript. My thought patterns have been unusual ever since Galaxy Force turned me into some sort of Decepticon Tuxedo Mask ...
P.P.P.S. This is all more humourous if you read this in my G1 voice ...
P.P.P.P.S. If you see Ravage, could you tell him to call back and leave a message at the sound of my drawling, monotonous tone?

A: 1) You are at least nine million years old. Your Cybertronian mode was a streetlamp.

2) Ratbat had been locked in the basement of Darkmount, forced to do Shockwave's taxes and other accounting duties. When Unicron attacked and Shockwave skipped off to Tahiti, Ratbat escaped and rejoined you.

3) The Decepticon symbol only looks like you until you see the G2 Autobot symbol. I'm not sure what they were thinking. The Predacon symbol looks more like a weevil than a wasp.

P.S. It's not Canada. I'm in Canada and have yet to come across any magical girls in skimpy sailor outfits. I will alert the insects to be on the lookout for your cat.

Q: Salut Autobot Vector Prime,
For expedience sake, I shall be brief as I am able. To that end, the following are the questions I would appreciate an answer to as to appease my own curious nature.
1. Why did Unicron give Scourge facial hair? It does nothing for his intimidation score and I find that it makes him look rather silly in reality.
2. How does one go about extracting a rather more unbalanced than is usual Decepticon Psychiatrist/Interrogator and her pint sized minions from ones headspace? She takes up rather a lot of room and the fictives are beginning to become a bit disgruntled over a fanchara recieving all the authorial attention.
3. How do you eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?
4. Have you at any point in you extensive and no doubt interesting traversing throughout the realms of Time and Space ever found a universe, reality or period in which the Autobots and Decepticons ( or whatever the two opposing factions may be calling themselves ) were actually at peace for reason that did not involve (A) a common enemy, (B) a short break to gather weapons/energy/suppiles before they give it another go, (C) pretending to be cooperative and peaceful so as to have the element of surprise when they rise up and destroy their enemies and take their rightful place as rulers of the galaxy, (D) pie, (E) funky alien mind control, or (F) some combination of the above?
5. How do you avoid the inevitable paradoxes caused by travelling through time? Have you ever accidently erased yourself from existance? If so, what does not-and-never-have existing feel like?
That is all I wish to ask you at the moment, Vector Prime. Thank you from taking the time out of your not doubt busy schedule in order to read and answer my trivial queries.

A: 1) Gods just have their ... little ways. Primus believes that disco is still cool, Unicron thinks robots look good with facial hair.

2) Headcharas happen. Sometimes people can find ways to make them quiet down, but generally they sit on you until you do what they ask. Your only hope is that she will become bored and wander away of her own accord.

3) I don't, due to the way Insecticons eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: very, very fast.

4) There are many universes where the Autobots and Decepticons live in peace, understanding the balance between them and respecting one another's functions in life, as everything happens somewhere. More often, a lack of war means that it is one of the thousands of fanfic universes where the most important thing in life is Getting A Boyfriend. Though I suppose being under the command of an authoress counts as alien mind control.

5) I have never erased myself from existence. Erased myself in other universes, yes. Not by accident. I don't care to go into detail.

Q: Can you - would you please - name these female Minicons?
A: ... Is there a picture or a link I'm supposed to be looking at? Offhand, I know eight Minicons that use the female pronoun: Falcia, Combusta, and Twirl of the Sonic Attack Team, Spiral who leads the Street Speed Team, Arcee of the Street Action Team, Sunburn of the Aqua Raider Team, Ironhide who is Terrorsaur's partner, and Cliffjumper who is Cheetor's partner. Sometimes Sureshock claims to be female, but no one's really sure.

Q: Why did you even accept the job when you coulda kicked the runts into next year, and left?
A: What, babysitting Jolt's trine? Kicking them into next year wouldn't help. I'd just get them back a year later.

Q: Dear Vector Man,
From the latest issue:
"Yes, I've simply added the ones you sent in later to the end of the list rather than sorting them in."
Thank you for clearing that up, oh Prime-who-has-a-Russian-city-named-after-them ( it's one of the only places outside the US where smallpox was successfully bred for biological warfare! ) That leaves me with only one question:
When are we gonna start busting Decepticons?
-The same individual and G1 Ironhide

A: If the last panel of today's photo answers is any indication, about five minutes after Override gets out of the repair bay.

Q: Do you know why the Insecticons act as they do? Do they know? Does Wayward know? Does Primus know? Do any of the Optimuses know? Do any of the Starscreams know? Do any of the Megatrons know? Doezz Wazzpinator know? Doezz Wazzpinator know anything? Does Quickstrike know? Does Arcee know? Does Unicron know? Does Cybertron know? Do any of the humans in any series know?
Now on to the next question.
In a fight between Unicron, The entire Federation and Klingon starfleets, and the Death Star, who would win?
Next question.
Does anybody know why the first word that comes to mind when it is asked of me is the word "barf"?
Last question.
Has all my asking overloaded anyones' circuits?

A: Because they are cross-wired ninnies. Yes. Yes. Most likely. No. Just the Insecticomics version. They don't care. He might. Lots. Ha, no. No. Doubtful. If Primus knows, Cybertron knows. No.

Mr Rogers in a bloodstained sweater.

... You think of the word 'barf' when people ask you to think of a random word, or people think of the word 'barf' when they think of you?

We do this every week. We don't overload easily.

Q: Vector Prime,
While we were on the net we found a Jem website that claims that several other shows fit in to one place: the HASBRO-VERSE! These shows are Jem, Inhumanoids, G.I. Joe, and Transformers.
Thank you,
Quintesson Imperial Magistrates

A: We are usually not all in the same universe, but there is the occassional crossover when the stars are right. The entity that calls itself 'Hector Ramirez' is actually a lower-caste Vok who just likes stirring up trouble.

Q: Sorry if our last message has made you go insane.
Quintesson Imperial Magistrates

A: One of our housemates is Cthulhu. We don't go insane easily.

Q: Why don't I get any fangirl loving!? Why is it always the Decepticons or the Dinobots or some evil or insane group!? I mean, even the Beast Wars version of Rampage gets the girls, and he's a freaking maniac! So why no love for me?! I got the looks, the voice, the 'tude, and all the other qualifications, so why does fangirl worship always evade me?! WHY!!!???
- Hot Rod

A: You get plenty of love. At least, you're one of the usual characters used in Transformers porn fanfiction. ( Dear Transformers porn writers: please get some variety. I'm bored of the same eight characters all the time. Let's see some Seacons or something. Or, for preference, Override/Thunderblast. Thank you. )

Q: If you were to place Spike, Carly, and Chip Chase in an arena against Carlos, Rad, and Alexis, who would bet on to win?
- Curious Fan

A: The G1 humans, if for no other reason than that they are bigger.

Q: Why, oh why, do we ALWAYS somehow figure into Cybertronian conflicts? Why can't the universe just LEAVE US ALONE!!?
- Frustrated human

A: You don't always. There was Beast Machines. But you are generally stuck with us because the writers think humans can't possibly be interested in a story with no humans.

- Primus

A: I have not been engaging in improper conduct. I only wish I was engaging in improper conduct.

Bip bip bee. Beedle-whee bip bip beep beedle-eedle beep beep wheedle bee bip beep wheedle-eedle whee biddle beep beep bee bip bee beep wheedle. Bip beep bip beep beedle wheep beedle-beep whee bip whee beep.

And, as usual, questions lifted from the Movie:

And what are we gonna do when we get there?
Movie questions

What do you know about it, lad?
Movie questions

You want me to gut Ultra Magnus?
Movie questions

Don't you think we have better things to do that tell old stories?
Movie questions

Like what?
Movie questions

How'd you beat them?
Movie questions


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