Ask Vector Prime A Question Archives
  February 3rd, 2006  

Vector Prime

Kickback says: Whoo! Issue number twenty-five! We should celebrate.

My minor precognitive powers indicate that I will be stuck answering the questions this issue anyway.

I said 'we', not 'you'. I'll get Shrapnel to code up the official answers because it's a maze to find them on the official site ever since they glitched the code.

Such fun. Get that party hat away from me.

Q: Have you ever met Death's Head?
A: I have heard of him, but have not yet met him. I do know him, in a way. He has left minor ripples in reality at points.

Q: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
A: African or European? For a European swallow, it's a little under nine metres per second.

Q: If the various Transformers universes ( cartoon G1, Marvel G1, RiD, Armada/Energon/Cybertron, the Japanese G1 and BW, BW, et cetera ) were to be forced into a Crisis on Infinite Earths situation, which continuity would form the main point to which all the others were integrated?
A: Beast Machines. Just to annoy everyone.

Q: Superman vs. Optimus Prime: who'd win?
A: Superman, eventually. Optimus Prime neither carries kryptonite nor is he a user of magic, so he couldn't cause Superman any real damage. Superman, however, just needs to punch really hard.

Q: Juju, the second loviest pillbug in the universe asks: which is cuter - a fluffy kitten or Kickback?
A: A fluffy kitten. Insecticons are only cute if you've never lived with one.

Q: In an old issue of the Marvel Transformer's comic, water is declared to be a mythical substance to the Transformers, capable of destroying the Scraplets ... Isn't water supposed to be really, really, common? Please explain this.
A: Water is ridiculously common in the universe. On Cybertron, it's generally used as a catalyst or as a fuel componant rather than something to splash on one's body. It's possible that Ratbat and the rest simply didn't realise that banging an oxygen atom and two hydrogen atoms together would create the substance needed to kill Scraplets. As for why it works, all my eight-ball says is, "Outlook good."

Beating the water cure for sheer WTFness, on Thundercats, soap is apparently an ancient and heavily-guarded secret. Fortunately, I have no sense of smell.

Q: If you were a bodyless spark and could posses any Transformer, who would you be?
A: Primus. I'd like to see someone try to backhand that.

Q: So, let's pretend for a moment, that it wasn't Safeguard who was created, but Wheelie. You had Wheelie stuck to your back 24/7/365. What would you do?
A: If Wheelie took Safeguard's place in continuity, nobody would notice, because Safeguard detatches himself from my arm perhaps eight times in the entire series and gets perhaps four lines. The main difference is that Wheelie doesn't match my paintjob, and I think he'd get along with the Recon Team.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Why is it no one likes me? And why did those worthless bags of flesh at Hasbro make me speak in those consistently stupid riddles?
- Wheelie

A: Someone at Hasbro had a vendetta against small scooter-cars, thus wrote horrible dialogue for you. I suggest finding a better agent and moving to another universe, because the fanboys will never let you live your time in G1 down.

Q: Yo, Big VP!
1) If you were a kind of Hostess fruit pie what would the state capital of Alaska be?
2) Mentioning pies, does the mighty fruit filling affect you?
3) Would it work on Decepticons?

A: 1) Given those conditions, the capital of Alaska would be Howard. I am the legendary guardian of space and time, and I say so.

2) If it gets into my gears, I need to be field-stripped just to clean it out.

3) If fire-retardant foam can cause panic amongst Decepticons, synthetic fruit sludge certainly can.


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