Ask Vector Prime A Question Archives
September 8th, 2006
I still read the movie rumours, and I continue to fail to take interest in the drama. Here are some more pictures of the upcoming Classics Minicons. For those of you who still complain that Minicons can't possibly be Classics, the official blurb on Hasbro's site states that the Minicons are "part of the Classics program that pays tribute to the rich history of the Transformers saga." Armada is part of that history, so why not commemmorate it with what it was best known for?
Nothing new on the official page, as usual.
Q: Comrade Vector Prime!
I'm Tukhachevsky the Red Marshall, Russian weaponry chief. I like transforming war machines and suppose them to be war science's future. I want to build an army of transforming and pilotless tanks, planes and ships and kick asses of some idiots like Hitler and Hirohito. We want to buy your technologies of transformation, artificial intelligence and alternate energy sources. Our country has lots of energon, so we'll pay any cost you want.
My respects, USSR Marshall Tukhachevsky M.N.
A: ... You're not part of the October Guard, are you? Questions like this always seem to end in a crossover with GI Joe, and crossovers with GI Joe never go well for the Transformers involved. And being given technology beyond what a civilisation is capable of handling never goes well for anybody.
Q: Recently my hyperdrive had a huge glitchy steak? So instead of short and pleasant flight from Cybertron to Earth, I ended up visiting a few WEIRD places. It's not the first time, so can you give me a few hints on fixing my hyperdrive so I won't be accidantly going to other timelines?
Anyway - to the main subject. People of those weird places seemed to know you, since they they learned that I am a Transformer they asked me to pass these messages:
( Apparently e-mail doesn't exist in many dimensions, given how often I'm given missives in care of other people. Alas, I cannot help you with your ship - Safeguard does all my tech support. )
Q: 1) I am a pilot of an enormous and mostly organic humanoid weapon system. In few recent battle it wsc discovered that dispite vast array of ranged weapons meele combat is much more effective. Can You, with help of gestalt team leaders (since this weapon system is about the same size as combiner) give me some sort of manual, based on your giant robot combat expirience?
- Ikari Shinji
A: Mmph. Having gone through the files regarding your mechas, I would be more inclined to tell you humans to stop poking around in them. They seem to be practically life forms in their own right, and as a living robot, I cannot condone the idea of piloting them. Perhaps you could ask your mechas nicely.
Q: 2) Sir Vector Prime, I've heard, that you are an expert in interdimensional navigation. Can you PLEASE help me and my friends get home?
- Quinn Mallory
A: Given the nonsense you've got up to with your invention, poking around and interfering in alternate timelines, I'm more inclined to kill your grandfather than help you. I hereby sentence you to your series losing direction in the third season.
Q: 3) You ripped off design of MY SHIP!! Now I upgraded it with YOUR tecnology and soon will have my revenge on you! Be prepared!
- Darth Maul
A: So ... did you become a Duocon after you were chopped in half or how does that work?
Q: 4) I am a leader of the robotic army bent on eradicating humankind. I'm willing to share Earth resourses when I'm done with humans for exchange of eradicating three of my enemies who foiled my plans multiple times already. Namely - X, Zero and Axl. Will such proposition interest any of the Decepticon leaders? If yes - give us some measures of contacts.
A: Will it interest them? Yes. Will I tell them? No.
Q: Hey, old coot.
Dat was just plain rude. At least respond ta my question. Pursuit recently told us 'bout how you gave 'im advice. Expect ta be squished soon. (Soon as Smokey gits da time machine built)
Gravedigger, leader of the Buildbots
P.P.S. Omnicron wants ta know how Omega Supreme lived with bein' so big. (Or at lest git da Guardian's autagraph.)
P.P.P.S. Smokerida' wants ta know how Ratchet keeps his patients in line. ('Cuz bein' polite ta Lambos really don't work out.)
A: 'Polite' is one of those things that I do when the person asking the question does it first. Pursuit asked for advice, I gave it. You asked a distasteful question, I ignored it.
PPS: In the usual way, I assume, though he is forced to duck at doorways.
PPPS: I hear that Ratchet tends towards large mallets and duct tape for patient restraint. Unless it's his comic version, whereupon he feeds them high-grade until they pass out.
Q: Where did Blinky come from? Why did he come? Is he the Messiah?
A: Blinky came from BotCon 2002. He came because Wayward thought a robot pillbug was too funny to pass up. He is not an oratorio by Handel.
Q: Is the Cybertron series actually connected to the Armada and Energon continuity, or is Hasbro just making a bad attempt to put one over on us?
A: It was meant to be connected - you can tell from the tech specs in the first Wave or so of the toys - but the writers of the show in Japan decided to go off and do their own thing.
Q: To Vector Prime. You are an Autobot and I should by rights be trying to kill
you, but I'm willing to live and let live. Also, I have a few questions for
1) A while back, I was minding my own business when I felt this excruciating
pain in my head. I wasn't fighting or anything, and none of the medics can
tell me what caused it. You're likely the most experienced Transformer
currently functional. Have you any ideas?
2) Were there ever any successful rebellions against Decepticon leadership
in any continuity? And I don't mean temporary overthrows like Starscream's
tragically short reigns. I'm asking because the other Combaticons and I are
become somewhat wary of Galvatron's plans lately, but I'm hoping to find
successful precedents before committing. I don't want to spend the next 4
million years in a box again.
Combaticon Commander Onslaught
P.S. Do you have any idea when Marvel's trademark of the name 'Onslaught'
ends? It's rather tiring introducing myself as 'Combaticon Commander
Onslaught' or 'Combaticon Commander'.
A: 1) For lack of a better term, your pain was caused by a hereditary condition. There isn't much you can do about it except for avoiding family reunions.
2) There were many, but none permanent. The status quo always returns to Megatron or Galvatron in charge eventually.
PS: Hm. Hasbro hasn't used the name 'Onslaught' since G2. Though from the looks of things, you won't have to worry about being called 'Decepticon Onslaught' or variants. However, you may get saddled with 'Mega-Octane'.
Also, there's a fellow around somewhere who would like to discuss missing Getters with you.
Q: To the Auto--er--Transformer with the dimensional travel abilities.
Do you think you could help me out of this Black Nebula that thrice-accursed
Star Saber hurled me into? I promise I won't backhand you and I'll even
throw in this handy little map to the planet of Giant Robotic Supermodels.
A: I'm not sure why you cut off saying 'Autobot' there, as I am an Autobot. Given my experiences, I'm somewhat leery of Destrons, particularly when they have anything to do with maps.
Q: Hey, Vector Prime, in all your journeys, what's the stupidest Transformer
name you've ever encountered? I mean, I'm pretty sure nothing tops 'the
A: I still stand by 'Windbreaker' as the most unfortunate Transformer name.
Q: Vector Prime, I have read your feelings on Chosen Ones and agree completely.
I too detest Prophecies and what not. No man can kill me, so some slip of a
girl can?! Pah.
Ahem. My question: Have you ever tried to interfere with a prophecy about a
Chosen One and what not, just to see if you could prevent it?
A: It could have been worse. Given the loophole in your prophecy, you could have been killed by anything that wasn't a man. You might have tripped and landed on a porqupine. But, to your question. Unfortunately, my job tends to run towards making sure that things happen instead of making them not happen. Interfering with things - even interfering with overdone and overdramatic Chosen One prophecies - has the unfortunate consequence of destabilising the space-time continuum.
Q: A couple questions for the Insecticons:
1: What do you think of your counter parts in the comic mini-series? Both in
design and personality.
2: Bombshell, WHY THE HELL don't you just pull your thumb out and bloody
well date Skitter? On second thoughts, it is very entertaining watching her
annoy you ... Good job! Keep it up! But seriously, what is the deal there?
Oh, and please both batter dip and cover both Blinky and Megatron's duck in
chocolate and dump them into Megs' hot tub, preferably while he's in it! ;-]
P.S. Do you have the Beast Wars Insecticon toy?
A: 1) Kickback says: Which one? I'm guessing you're talking Hearts of Steel here. We love the designs. We haven't really shown up enough to have any deep characterisation, but it seemed fine to us. We got to break things.
2) Bombshell says: We were happy just being friends. Besides, if we were dating, I'd have had to tell her where my secret snack stash is, and do you know how much a cyborg ant can eat?
PS: He's one that doesn't live here. Wayward's more interested in robotic-looking bgs than robots that turn into accurate-looking bugs.
Q: Dear Dreadmoon,
While perusing around Wayward's fics, I came across one particular humor fic concerning you and the famous Mary-Sue litmus test. Among the things I read in that ( delightful ) fic, was the potential of you having a Beast Machines incarnation. How do feel about this possible reformatting, given your attitudes towards organic life in general?
A: Dreadmoon says: Let's just say that I would have preferred to have been killed by Autobots after they re-conquered Cybertron in 2005 than be forced to suffer the disgust and indignity of a technorganic body-shell. And that story was utter uncreative hack-work. The only thing worse than Wayward basing a story around that test is any other writer who reads her story and uses the idea for their own characters. Just because Wayward did it doesn't make it a good idea, but at least she has the excuse that she did it first.
Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Ever considered creating an FAQ page for this forum?
A: Often. It will consist of one entry:
Question: Why did Hasbro reuse [this name] on [a character that I deem unsuitable]?
Answer: To keep the trademark.
Q: Dear Wayward,
Did you ever imagine that this parody page would last so long?
A: Wayward says: I thought people would get bored and the feature would last ten issues at the outside. Originally it was only going to update when the official site did, but we received too many e-mails for that. The deal here is as long as people send in questions, Vector Prime will continue to answer them. The week we don't get any questions from readers, we'll put up a filler issue of some sort. The second week we don't get any questions, we assume that nobody's interested any more and Vector Prime gets to retire.
Q: I heard that the Japenese verisons of Optimuses in Armada and Energon are two different characters, is this true? What about the other Transformers, Hot Rod and Jetfire change their names to Hot Shot and Skyfire for some reason. This may explaned why Optimus is back with Autobots like nothing happen.
A: Given the story, the characters are the same. There was direct - if sometimes slightly altered - continuity between Armada and Energon. Any name changes I'm likely to blame on trademarks.