Of course there's a spellbook lying around. Sheesh, keep this up and you'll start thinking that Transformers don't exist.

Anyway, you pull it down and open it up. There's five formulae you could recite. At best, magic will solve all your problems. At worst, it will kill you in a really nasty way. Anyway, pick your spell:

Ia! Shub-Niggurath!
Cthulhu fhtagn!
Hei! Aa-shanta 'nygh!
Ygnaiih Azathoth
That's so not ham!